Countries 10 (Denmark), or 12 if you include Germany and Netherlands again
Distance so far: 5375km
Total distance by the time we get home: Just shy of 6000km (or a little over 3500 miles)
It has been another absolute blast, which went something (but not exactly) like this.
When we first looked at the map and decided to head all the way to the Baltic states and back through Scandinavia it looked a bit mad. But it has been amazing. There is no doubt that Norway takes the crown for riding opportunities but we also, as we always do, found visits of almost infinite variety to punctuate our days.
And as usual we have stayed in quirky villages, met lovely locals and had to negotiate our way into major cities. Riga was a fabulous place to spend a couple of days and one day I might go back, but not by bike. We had originally included Finland in our plans but given the distance we have travelled the extra round the entire Bay of Bothnia would have tested us too much. We will just have to go back. The north of Scandinavia beckons, if only we can find a way to get there without the boring bits on the way!
Our crossing from the southern tip of Norway at Kristiansand to Hirtshals in Denmark went without incident even if a few big bikers tried to intimidate us, just by being there and looking harder than us, and we had to strap our own bikes down again to the ferry deck - always makes us nervous! An old Danish guy actually managed to crash into two bikes on his way on! Only minor, but we kept out of his way!
First overnight stop in Denmark was in a nice enough village and hotel in Bronderslev, only half an hour from the ferry terminal which meant we had time for a wander and to find food in an outdoor cafe, where we later had a restaurant owner shouting at us in Danish because we couldn’t understand the bill! Ah well, it seemed about the right price so we paid up rather than him take the meat cleaver to us.
And before heading for home we still managed to spend some quirky places to visit, first to a wind turbine testing station as Denmark has apparently taken over from the UK as the offshore wind production world leader. Doubtless because our useless government would not or could not support its home grown industries, and probably blamed the European Union for that. Funny, but Denmark has remained in the EU and managed it all the same. Don’t get me started. The somewhat bizarre testing centre in north west Denmark has an interesting visitor centre and you are free to wander the site, with not a member of staff or guard in sight! And they are big!
As are the cranes to hoist the bits up!
In our second Danish overnight in a little village called Oksbol, we found yet another pool table in a great little bar were we were made very welcome, and at prices that were distinctly unNorwegian. And no disputes over the bill!
From there we breakfasted in Denmark’s oldest town, Ribe, which was beautiful and deserved a gentle amble round the cobbled streets and quick visit to the magnificent cathedral,
… before Eric dragged us off to a Viking Centre at which they re-enact pillage etc. Another great visit even if possibly the boys got more out of it than me, but I can’t complain as I have had more than my fair share of diverted routes to take in magnificent views, u-turns in tunnels, stops for unnecessary lunch, etc.
And we all became honorary vikings - Eric (being a famous Viking already) only had to change the last letter of his name to become Erik, Rob became Rolf and I became Axel. We stopped short of burning down villages. And yes I know these are lazy inaccurate stereotypes, for which I apologise.
A short stop at a ruined castle would not have merited a mention were it not for the fact that our leader for the day (who shall remain nameless) completely missed the car park and proceeded to drive right up to the place via the gravel footpath, across a bridge that might, or might not, have been strong enough to take a motorbike, let alone three. We then found we couldn’t turn round so had to go all the way round on the gravel footpath to get out again. Just as well there was nobody else there. We usually manage at least one adventure on each trip to confirm what idiots we are!
A night in a somewhat non-descript (but very nice) hotel in Itzehoe, 50km outside Hamburg, was followed by a splendid ferry crossing of the Elbe (our second) to avoid Hamburg itself.
It was a little wet that morning, but as it was our only ride in the rain on the entire trip, we have absolutely nothing to complain about.
Required selfie.
And then a brilliant stop to get on a WW2 U-Boat in Bremerhaven. I have to hand it to the King of Scotland (or whatever he calls himself these days - His Holiness, the Viking …), he can certainly find some interesting places to visit on these trips.
Then a final dash to Groningen where we holed up for our last night (aside from the overnight ferry to come), which has us back in the Netherlands and we were able to witness England’s last gasp victory against Slovakia last night . To be fair they didn’t deserve to lose - says the Scottish/Irish man.
We have one possible visit today on our way to Rotterdam, another of the Nazi camps at Westerbork, but you have heard all about those kinds of places before on the this trip and previously, so I will not labour points. I’m sure it will be moving and will again allow us to reflect on how lucky we are.
So to close, and for the record, not that any one cares, not even us, the results of all the stupid competitions are in, that we play to occupy our time so we don’t have to talk to each other all the time.
Rolf, the Long Armed Man took the Shithead crown in Sweden, Norway and Denmark, making him the undisputed Scandinavian champion. He also won the Pool in Denmark, but he drew a blank on Nomination Whist.
Erik the (true) Viking took Shithead in Poland and Latvia and the Bean Bag hurling competition in Sweden. I can’t remember if he won a pool competition, but I think he did magnanimously agree to an extra round in Denmark while leading and then blew it, probably by going in off the black … twice.
And Axel, the Bald Bloke, took Shithead in Estonia, Germany, Netherlands and Pool in Poland and Norway. He was denied the Nomination Whist title by virtue of the fact that he did a catastrophic misdeal when miles ahead which apparently invalidated the whole game! He’d demand an inquiry but he probably wouldn’t come out of it well.
I’ve probably forgotten some, but who cares.
So now our thoughts turn back to home, and the joys of not wearing clothes that have been poorly washed in a hotel sink. Returning to loved ones with bike and body intact is always good too. Just one ferry crossing to take. Tonight we board an overnighter in Rotterdam and land in Harwich in the early hours the next day. We plan to come full circle by having breakfast together in the Wetherspoons we first stayed in about three weeks ago. Then its off our separate ways to get cleaned up!
A final selfie taken in Ribe, suggests we might have had enough of each other!
It has, as ever, been an honour and privilege to ride with you boys for the last three weeks. But now my ears, and yours, deserve a rest. In particular if I hear a bad Welsh accent any time soon I will cry. We will doubtless gather again for a short trip in the autumn. Probably in the UK, but just maybe Ireland if the weather is kind.
Until then, bye for now.
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