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  • Writer's pictureThe Bald Journaller

The Self-Quarantine Motorbike Tour of GB - just 2 idiots, day 2

Updated: Sep 6, 2020

Where are we? Darlington, County Durham

Where should we be? Somewhere in southern Colorado

Miles today: 190

Miles total: 410



It was all going so well till it tipped it down on the North Yorkshire Moors! But by then we were only an hour from a warm shower and a hot meal (I'm being starved on this trip, did I mention that?)


But that hour took us to gone 6pm, so we had done our usual trick of spending just too much time at various castles, viewpoints, priories ... and cake shops! And of course taking really awful selfies, this one at the wonderful Helmsley Castle where we narrowly avoided parking tickets (for a motorbike!!), didn't quite avoid a short downpour but nevertheless enjoyed our second English Heritage visit of the day. Fabulous place, just at the start of the North Yorks Moors National Park, but I can't remember a damn thing about it. Lots of stone walls and old artefacts though!



The morning started with what felt like an out of town American experience - basically coffee in a petrol station! Are Costas like rats? You are never more than 6 metres from one. Not knocking it, a flat white and a blueberry muffin and we are set up for the day. Until the cake stop in Caister obviously!


We set off in glorious blue skies, up towards Boston actually the most anti-EU town in the UK I believe - so we avoided it by getting lost on the outskirts but finally finding the bendy B1234 (or something) heading up through the Lincolnshire Wolds to the aforementioned Caister, and a revisit to the Pig & Poke cafe, where they remembered us from our last trip - no they didn't, but that didn't stop me jabbering away as if they should, to Eric's eternal embarrassment.



And then... all roads lead to the Humber bridge. it is amazing how often we seem to cross this on a motorbike tour. But it is a magnificent piece of engineering. And an opportunity for yet another crap selfie! and funnily enough we often seem to find ourselves in Wetwang - titter ye not!



Just north of the bridge we peeled off again onto a back road leading to the aforementioned Helmsley, where the heavens opened before and after our brief wander round the mediaeval castle. Maybe we were just ruined out, as we had spent a good hour just before the Humber Bridge at Thornton Abbey, with the greatest/biggest gatehouse in the known universe. And it really is magnificent - and another opportunity for us to piss about in a tower!



All for now. As I write we have just had a fabulous meal in an Indian restaurant in Darlington. I'm lamb shanked out, and washing it down with a small night cap in the hotel bar. Another early night is likely. Exhausting this bike riding.


Tomorrow we aim to cross the Forth River, bypass Edinburgh and be ready for our assault on the Cairngorms on Monday. But first we have the whole of Northumberland to get lost in! And heres a few more pictures of the day...


Cant believe they don't remember us!

Lincolnshire skies

Greatest gatehouse in the known universe - Thornton Abbey just south of the Humber Bridge

The abbey, at Thornton Abbey

And again

This staircase doesn't go anywhere

A light, mid morning snack

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